The Lingual Evolution

Over the years, (I dare not say how many), I have dabbled in several languages... a Jack of all trades but master of none, if you will... and it has led me to seriously begin contemplating the evolution of language.

In my mind's eye, I imagine a caveman.   I can see him standing at the edge of a cliff with a group of his clan.  On the opposite side of the chasm, atop the adjacent cliff, there is a tree that is ripe with delicious fruit.  I imagine this is very exciting for the cavemen, as they probably hadn't eaten in a while.  I can see the caveman point at the distant tree, grunting oafishly to signal to his clansmen that he is interested in what he sees.  Then I think about how "ugh! ugh!" eventually became "Hey you guys!  I'm famished and that fruit looks DELISH!"

Now... it's easy to see how certain words came into being... food, water, ground, sky... all of these things are objects we can identify... images in our mind that we relay through language; but what about the more abstract words?  Words that don't represent an object, but an idea... these are the most fascinating to me.  

"If"... what is "if"?  It's not an object, person, or place... so what is it?  It's a sound that represents a condition.

Were someone to present this sentence to you, "I was wondering IF you could help me move this sofa", and asked you to define "if"... what would you say?  What if they asked to to define the word "can" in the sentence "I hope the plumber CAN fix the toilet in time for the party!"  You just thought about it didn't you?

You simply cannot "define" these words in the literal sense... you can only convey the idea behind them.  Now think about all the words we use without a second thought.. how many of them represent just an idea?

Think of the word "because" and what it means. In English, 'because' covers a lot of ground and has a few different meanings.  For example:

a.     I went to the store because I am hungry.

     In this sentence "because" implies you went to the store under the condition/control of hunger

b.     I'm learning to speak Spanish because I want to visit Spain.  

     In this sentence "because" implies you're learning Spanish for the purpose of visiting Spain.

c.     He's in trouble because he broke my window.

     In this example, "because" implies cause and effect

So now we've established "because" can signify cause and effect, purpose, or condition/control.    Now consider how, during natural conversation, your brain identifies the situation surrounding the word.  Before the next word in the sentence is uttered, your brain identifies the appropriate translation of 'because' and puts the word into context for the flow of thought being transferred to you... and you don't even realize it.  It's almost as though language is a living thing that happens to us, as opposed to something we acquire throughout life.

We become so intimately connected to our native languages that it becomes as natural as breathing... it happens without conscious thought.

With this in mind I can't help but wonder... are our respective languages formed around or societies, or are our societies formed around our respective languages?  Does a nation with a language that is specific have a better business chance than a nation with a more vague language?  Who can say... but it's worth thinking about... but that's just my opinion.

A Tourist's Guide to Driving in Kansas City

When driving in Kansas City, it's important to know there are three main groups -
1. - Missouri-side
2. - Johnson County
3. - Wyandotte


1. The "Missouri side" as it's known, is the largest part of the metro area.  The skyscrapers and urban living all happen here.  When driving in that area it's important to know that we are crazy. We all have somewhere to be and we all needed to be there 5 minutes ago.  We WILL get where we need to go, with or without your help. Turn signals here, while merging or changing lanes, is not a request but more of a 3-blink warning.   If you hold us up in traffic we will honk our horns, flip you off, and quite possibly cuss you out at the nearest red light.  In some extreme cases, Missouri-side drivers have been known to roll down their window and verbally offend you from the next lane while in transit.  This is usually a group event.  All passengers (front seat and back) typically take part.  Also, you may be shot.

2. Johnson County is a very upscale suburban area of the metro located in... you guessed it... Johnson County.  When driving in Johnson County, it's important to know these people believe the road belongs to them... their side and yours.  Traffic lights mean nothing to these people and "pedestrian" tends to imply a display of poverty level as opposed to mode of transit.  The traditional sense of "pedestrian" is a foreign concept to them and if you are on a sidewalk you could be killed.  Making a left turn from a parking lot onto a street is like seeing a sasquatch riding a unicorn.  It's possible in THEORY but no one has any proof it exists.  Speed limit signs are more of a 'roadside decor' than a recommendation of speed.  You can expect 45-50mph from them, regardless of posted signs, and 70-75 on the highway. Turn signals here are a luxury and are used sparingly and only on special occasions.   9 out of 10 people in Johnson County will be driving while on their cell phone... the other 1 out of 10 will be texting.


3. Wyandotte is another county in the Kansas City metro area.  These people also believe the road belongs to them, and believe it's their civic duty to travel 15mph under the speed limit AT MINIMUM.  You and a Wyandotte driver could be the only 2 cars on the planet, and they will never never never move out of the fast lane.  If they are NOT in the fast lane, should you move into the fast lane to pass them, they will do something that's relatively unheard of for that area... they will press the accelerator.  Be you not mistaken, this is not a courtesy.  Wyandotte drivers refuse to be passed, and will drive at breakneck speeds to ensure you are not successful.  Once you have admitted defeat and moved back into the lane behind them, within five miles they will resume their original speed of 45 in a 60.  This "Wyandotte Waltz" will continue until one of you finally reaches your destination.  To see a turn signal here is to be shown an unfathomable act of kindness and generosity.

Well there we have it... the guide to driving in KC.  Good luck to all, and keep those middle fingers flyin!

Japan: Land of the Racist Sun?

In the spirit of current developments, (mainly the idea of moving to Japan), I've been doing a lot of research online to try to learn the pros and cons of being an American living in Japan.  It's amazing how many blogs and articles you can find on that specific subject, and while I was bombarded with information on how "polite and friendly" the Japanese could be, I was more interested in learning about the side of Japan nobody hears about.  You don't have to visit Japan to know it's a long way from America... literally and figuratively, and most of the negative feedback I've seen revolves mainly around an apparent inherent racism that, while usually very indirect and passive according to personal accounts, was very much a reality.  (Actually, while most pages use the term 'racism', it's actually more of a superiority complex in general... apparently they generally feel superior to anyone/anything that isn't Japanese in origin.)

This got me thinking...

The Japanese word for foreigner is gaijin (pronounced "guy-jean") and literally translates to outside person (gai-outside, jin-person).  This, I've gathered, carries a connotation that applies to more than just the status of your visa... it also seems to imply "outside person (from our way of life)"... and consequently most gaijin are treated as... well... outsiders from their way of life.  I can see why they would feel this way considering how uniquely individual their way of life seems to be, and the prestige at which even the western world perceives their society past and present (samurai, geisha, etc).  With that being said...

Americans take a deep sense of pride in our democracy, often feeling superior to others on a global level because "they just don't seem to get it," and we can't figure out why they do things the way they do because our way makes much more sense.  We feel this way to the point that when required to invade nations, we try to "better" their lives by American-izing everything about their society because anything else is second class at best.  Well, my friend... welcome to the world of being Japanese.

Let's face it... while I have met some amazing people from other countries, as a general rule most foreigners suck.  They do things that don't make sense to us, and language barriers can be physically stressful when trying to explain something to someone that doesn't speak English.  The Japanese seem to feel the same way.
A lot of people comment that you will never ever ever be fully accepted as Japanese no matter how long you live there, how many friends you have or how well you mesh with society.  This is also not so uncommon state-side.  Immigrants to the United States are often treated with the same demeanor - to the extent that some less intelligent people speak slower and louder than normal to foreigners (even if they speak fluent English), as though they were speaking to a toddler.

I guess the moral of this rant is, if you plan to go to Japan you simply have to expect that you will be treated differently because you are different.  If you meet their arrogance with your arrogance, you will undoubtedly have a miserable experience... but that's just my opinion

To Take a WikiLeak

Sunday (11/28) WikiLeaks released some quarter-million classified documents for the world to see.  When I first heard the news I was immediately ensnared.  It's probably an understatement to say that many American politicians have been less then reputable and anything but honest, and it's probably safe to assume some sinister deals have gone down once or twice when no one was looking.  With the hype behind the coverage of the WikiLeaks'... well... leak... I was under the impression we were about to see Watergate 2010 unfold on a global level.

As it turns out, that wasn't the case.

These "Classified" documents turned out to be nothing more than candid emails between foreign ambassadors reporting back on the status and buzz around their respective nations.  Hardly Watergate.
This makes me ask two questions:

1. How is it you can't make it through an airport with a large tube of toothpaste, but some punk kid (Army Pfc. Bradley Manning to be exact) could walk out of a restricted government site with 250,000+ classified documents?

2.  What impact, other than severely damaging some extremely fragile international relationships, did Julian Assange (head jerkoff at WikiLeaks) expect to make on the world?  No great misdeed has been revealed, and most of the dirty laundry was already known amongst just about anyone that follows world politics.

I was extremely interested to hear about Saudi pressure on American government to attack Iran - it makes me wonder how much pressure was put on American government to attack Iraq.  I think information of that nature should be made public, mainly for the fact that it decriminalized my view on American occupation in the middle-east.  Are we there because we're greedy?  Or are we there because they begged us to?  This is something I had never considered before... a lot of us had never considered before.

All the same, as supportive as I am of transparent government, I think we have to draw the line somewhere.  Considering the boiling point relations between the Koreas and the U.S. has come to, letting the world know someone called Kim Jong-Il a "flabby old chap" was hardly wise at best.  Furthermore to let it be known that South Korea and the United States have discussed a "unified Korea"??  Kim Jong-Il acts in a hostile manner based on his paranoia that the United States is conspiring against him.  Mr. Assange has thrown a match into a room full of dynamite.  In this instance I believe he deserves to be tried for espionage and thrown in jail for a very long time... but that's just my opinion.